A perfectly good Friday night, ruined

Posted by S. , Friday, May 27, 2011 11:26 PM

Ugh.
I haven't written much lately, because I haven't needed to vent about my personal life (and as for work... well, stress overload meant not wanting to vent).
I was zen, especially with the spring weather. Accept, move on, move forward.
And then, of course....
Here I am.
You try to ignore people, you get reproached for being mean. You try to correct it by then being nice.... forget that, you get criticized anyway.
You try to be the bigger person in a nasty conflict.... and then of course, someone has to interject something and ruin that nice zen bubble.
I really just want to scream at someone to butt out. Where do people get this overwhelming desire to meddle? Why interfere? I know perfectly well, without help, that this is one of those conflicts where you just walk away, cut your losses. Sure, there's some awkwardness out of it, but with time here winding down, what does it really matter?
Do I hate? No. Do I despise? A little. Am I hurt and on the defensive? Well, what bitch isn't?
Why should I be the one to accept 100% of the blame, giving someone the satisfaction of thinking they are a victim, when they're not? Why keep getting attempts a civility slammed in my face?
Honestly, it's not a person that I miss being friends with. Nor is it someone I enjoyed being friends with, nor is it someone I would have maintained contact with after the North (there are very few of those, truthbetold).
Someone far wiser than me, having heard the truth (aka, both sides) of this conflict, and knowing both me and The Rat, clearly told me to walk away and cut my losses.
So why on earth am I home alone crying? Because I just got lectured by someone who has a fair share of animosity for me and a hardcore alcoholic? really, though?