When I go get a coffee at my favorite cafe, despite having been gone for 4 months, the woman working there comments that I;m back, and asks how James Bay is. And the fact that they still know I usually take a moka fudge.
The sign is located on top of a ski hill.
Black bears hibernate during ski season.
Black bears are afraid of fluorescent ski and snowboard clothing.
Just saying.
Bromont tomorrow, Red Bull and Creme Egg bars are waiting patiently.
Remember, above all else, you must impress the bear. Oh, SkiBromont.
I forgot how skiing truly is my catharsis. Moments of pure bliss, mixed in with some adrenaline and some rather humourous moments.
It was when I was skiing down a trail that it hit me: I'm home for 3 weeks, in my old (real?) life. How easy it would be to just stay here, and keep last winter's status quo and continue on like this until the snow melts this spring. And yet... part of the homesickness I felt this November is more of a... longing for the way things were. And when I found myself back the way they were, I realized: I'm ready to move on the next step in life. If that means waiting a little longer to come home, once the next stage is started, I'm OK with it.
The reason I became so obsessed with skiing a few years ago is because that's when I became a bit of a fear junkie. I fell hard, I quit for years. Winter got to me, psychologically, worse and worse every year. So, I decided to turn a flaw, a weak point into a positive one. And I learned that facing fear head on is kinda fun. That's who I am. I learned to be more calm, more zen, more mature this past year. It was, all in all, a crap year with a lot of emotional things happening, friend, school, etc-wise. And I got through it calmly with no total breakdowns, no nuclear blowups, no Gossip Girl style revenge. I took something that used to terrify me, make me break down in tears in fear on the slopes, make me want to throw my skis into the woods into something I love, and am good at. I can do that with anything, given a proper reason to.
And so... now I find myself in a situation. Anyone that really, truly knows me knows two things. 1- If I get dramatic and go nuclear, it's because I'm hurt in a way where the heart is involved. and 2- my heart rarely gets involved. I've fallen in love a grand total of once. One time, one person, a few years ago, that I would calculate into my life plans. It was not, for a variety of reasons, reciprocated. I got over it.
I got over a lot lately. Fear of rejection, I dealt with this fall. I'm able to say: yes, I have feelings for someone. No, I was not entirely sure they were reciprocated. Yes, I'm able to admit that was a determining factor in my decision to return to James Bay after Xmas until June. No, I am not sure that the person in question calculated me in the same way. Nor am I asked them to do so, in making a decision.
All I'm asking for is understanding. To understand the above 2 points and not judge too harshly. Not necessarily to believe the best, but to not believe the worst. It's amazing how a few runs down the mountain clears the brain. If only there was a ski hill near Waskaganish....
Time for a bubble bath. Tomorrow: snowboarding!
My knee is holding up fabulously. There were no clicking sounds at all when skiing tonight.
Tomorrow is solstice. First day of Winter. And Ullr giveth: 15-25 CM of powder snow predicted for tomorrow.
A watched phone never rings.
I've discovered the 90s radio channel on Galaxie.
My ipod's playlist will be expanding exponentially over the next 3 weeks, no doubt.
Misheard Tea Party lyrics: "you surrender your underwear".
And now, off to Montreal for the day (snowshoes, iPod shopping, elfing for xmas).
Followed by food with Steph, at one of our favorite eating places.
Waskaganish needs a Thai resto.
For those not well acquainted with Val d'Or... not exactly a exciting, thrilling place. I'd love to write stories of prowling about town, panning for gold, but if there's any, it's buried under 3 feet of snow, and 1 foot of asphalt. And I didn't strike gold on the way down. I did, however, strike ice and snow, and occasionally realize I was driving on the wrong side of the road. I also saw the infamous Red Light and VD prostitutes. VD referring to the town, not the disease, to be sure.
I'm already sick of moving, after last night.. only to find out I have to rush on Sunday and Tuesday when free to get everything I need to send back up North packed and ready for the 23rd when the movers come. So much for practicing sax and bringing xmas gifts home. You can see how totally motivated I am to dig through and triage all my belongings, and pack them.
On a bright note: classes, school, DONE for me for 3 weeks. Will still be sorting out the math situation over the holidays. My first week back to work most of the kids are gone on their college orientation trip, making for an easy week, too.
I bought an iPod. You can all make snide comments. I caved in and finally went Apple. No, there will be no ipad, iphone, or ipod touch in my future, though.
Had a fairly good, fun last day in Waskaganish yesterday, for the most part. Last day before the holidays, I mean. Mixed feelings about returning in January.... going back til end of June for certain, but... mixed feelings about this. Mostly based on my uncertainty about teaching math, the whole first year teaching jitters (again! I thought I killed those when I taught at LaSalle College! but, alas, no....), uncertainty about someone, uncertainty about my ability to subsist 4 months without a break back home, uncertainty that my winter jacket is warm enough to prevent me from becoming a rather curly and frizzy haired snowperson.
Plane in... 8 hours. Home in... 10. With a Timmy's stop en route, bien sur.
