http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1D5PtyrewSs
Goodbye, 2010. Finally, the hours left on the calendar are dwindling down, and a fickle, topsy-turvy, roller coaster of a year grinds to a close. At first I thought that I would be ecstatic and not a bit nostalgic or sad to see it fade into history. And then, of course, I thought back: my first year in Becket (there will be more when I'm living in Mtl again, bien sur), finally getting to say goodbye to McGill, new people, finally achieving a tiny smidgeon of financial stability for the first time... ever. New emotions, new places, and a few happy pilgrammages to the old places that remain important, and good (Maine, evidemment).
There were, as any roller coaster has, the low points, as well, sometimes accompanied by a high speed downhill slope in a rattling wooden cart . I don't feel like enumerating them. Live, learn, forward motion.
I still love amusement parks. I learned; some people, places, experiences, routines are now farther away, distance and emotionally, others are closer despite the distance. The future, after a year like this, doesn't seem nearly as scary as it did if I rewind to one revolution around the sun ago.
2009 ended and 2010 started in Montreal, with friends and yahtzee... it seems an eternity since we (attempted) to howl out Auld Lang Syne at midnight while toasting champagne in mayson jars. People change, people move, people drift. Sometimes they come back, sometimes they don't. Sometimes, like now, you just have to wait and see what time reveals. Carpe diem, so they say.
Tonight will be spent in Granby dancing out the remaining minutes of another year with my favorite girls, after an afternoon on the slopes of Ski Mont Shefford (post tomorrow or the 2nd, promis!)
Alors, on danse.
Happy New Year to all.
Spent the day at Ski Mont Shefford. Which is, for the less ski-savvy, or non-Townshippers that might frequent my blog, a ski hill that closed in 2006.
That being said, I discovered last winter, first with Tom (see: torn meniscus), and later with Jess that the fact that it is closed is only a slight deterrent. Sure, there aren't any lifts to the top, nor is there a base or any grooming being done. There are, on the overwhelmingly positive side: no tourists, no lines, and an entire mountain of fresh, fluffy powder to play on in privacy. All, quite literally, in my backyard.
My love of ski hills and love of abandoned places aside, I will return here until it inevitably gets too grown up to ski, board, or crazy carpet down. We have a few good years left, though. (And, if the rumours are true, if the environmental issues ever get solved the owner, a Shefford mountain skiier and not developer, praise Ullr, does intend to re-open someday in a hypothethical future).
This mountain is, in many ways, the mythical paradise of my childhood. Not that everything was rosy. I can still remember laying my first ever tracks on alpine skis on this trail in '94. I also remember that I thoroughly did NOT enjoy this sport. Actually, mental images of beating my phys ed teacher over the head with the oversized straight-cut 1990s neon skis flashed through my mind, as did throwing my boots into the woods, and sitting by the fireplace in the chalet all day. Abandon ship.
Tears for Fears, the smell of Hubba Bubba, and memories of All-Sport (preferably grape) all elicit memories of this place. While dear old Glen mountain (perhaps later this week, or when I come visit in March) has a its share of legends, nostalgics, facebook groups, newspaper articles, and die-hards anxiously awaiting the day it may re-open someday, and a book on its history, Shefford has nothing. Except those who remember it as a slightly archaic, quirky place with its fair share of stories.
Quelques images....
there I am!
I'm faced with the dilemma: how to lug a 3 foot high Eiffel Tower made out of metal back to Waskaganish., with a ridiculously small luggage allowance?
Had I purchased this before the 23rd, when I first saw it, and shipped it with the moving van, it would have made a great deal of sense.
Now, I have a box load of stuff I will probably have to mail to myself, that I found/bought/received/remembered after that point in time.
I went through my last post and added links to all of the songs.
That's how occupied I am. I should be working on math lesson plans, I'm fully aware.
I had planned out an eloquent, elaborate post about friendships, change, etc.
And then I overdosed on sugar, took NyQuil, and waited for reaally slow internet to load. And so, the planned post will come at some later time and date. And instead, a list of songs I rediscovered after coaxing one of my old laptops to turn on, for a brief moment of time (Fraaaaank, helllllp!) 10 Songs which I highly recommend.
1- A Lifetime, Better than Ezra (oh, to be driving on Shore Road in York right now)
2- Take a Picture- Filter (it's sec 4, I'm eating a bagel and failing math class in that classroom with the bright orange carpets that are since long gone)
3- Swing Life Away- Rise Against (and if you like it: Saviour, Audience of One, Prayer of the Refugees by the same)
4-Flawed Design- Stabilo
5- Symbolistic White Walls- Matthew Good Band (and then Strange Days, and then read: At Last, There's Nothing Left to Say).
6-Mrs Potters Lullaby- Counting Crows (the band that one must know to know me. August & Everything After was my 1st ever cassette. and cd. This is the one country-like song I'll admit to loving. How can I not love a song with tilt a whirl imagery?)
7- Undeniable- Mat Kearney
8-Boston- Augustana
9- Never Too Late- Three Days Grace (the 1st time I heard this was on Canada Day, the year it came out on one of the infamous annual Ottawa/Canada Day road/camping trips which I am debating resurrecting this coming summer...Great song to jog through the Ottawa Valley near Manotick to)
10- Dice- Finley Quaye (OC fans will recognize this from New Year's Eve Season 1)
11- (An extra two because it's the holidays and I'm feeling generous): The Ocean- The Bravery (ocean. 'nuff said for those who know me. Also by The Bravery: Time Won't Let Me Go, and Believe)
12- Pure Morning- Placebo (I was a 90s teen, alright? It was on a Big Shiny Tunes cassette, which makes it cool)
I love rediscovering old playlists, and old favorites. Music is the number one form of time travel.
When I go get a coffee at my favorite cafe, despite having been gone for 4 months, the woman working there comments that I;m back, and asks how James Bay is. And the fact that they still know I usually take a moka fudge.
The sign is located on top of a ski hill.
Black bears hibernate during ski season.
Black bears are afraid of fluorescent ski and snowboard clothing.
Just saying.
Bromont tomorrow, Red Bull and Creme Egg bars are waiting patiently.
Remember, above all else, you must impress the bear. Oh, SkiBromont.
I forgot how skiing truly is my catharsis. Moments of pure bliss, mixed in with some adrenaline and some rather humourous moments.
It was when I was skiing down a trail that it hit me: I'm home for 3 weeks, in my old (real?) life. How easy it would be to just stay here, and keep last winter's status quo and continue on like this until the snow melts this spring. And yet... part of the homesickness I felt this November is more of a... longing for the way things were. And when I found myself back the way they were, I realized: I'm ready to move on the next step in life. If that means waiting a little longer to come home, once the next stage is started, I'm OK with it.
The reason I became so obsessed with skiing a few years ago is because that's when I became a bit of a fear junkie. I fell hard, I quit for years. Winter got to me, psychologically, worse and worse every year. So, I decided to turn a flaw, a weak point into a positive one. And I learned that facing fear head on is kinda fun. That's who I am. I learned to be more calm, more zen, more mature this past year. It was, all in all, a crap year with a lot of emotional things happening, friend, school, etc-wise. And I got through it calmly with no total breakdowns, no nuclear blowups, no Gossip Girl style revenge. I took something that used to terrify me, make me break down in tears in fear on the slopes, make me want to throw my skis into the woods into something I love, and am good at. I can do that with anything, given a proper reason to.
And so... now I find myself in a situation. Anyone that really, truly knows me knows two things. 1- If I get dramatic and go nuclear, it's because I'm hurt in a way where the heart is involved. and 2- my heart rarely gets involved. I've fallen in love a grand total of once. One time, one person, a few years ago, that I would calculate into my life plans. It was not, for a variety of reasons, reciprocated. I got over it.
I got over a lot lately. Fear of rejection, I dealt with this fall. I'm able to say: yes, I have feelings for someone. No, I was not entirely sure they were reciprocated. Yes, I'm able to admit that was a determining factor in my decision to return to James Bay after Xmas until June. No, I am not sure that the person in question calculated me in the same way. Nor am I asked them to do so, in making a decision.
All I'm asking for is understanding. To understand the above 2 points and not judge too harshly. Not necessarily to believe the best, but to not believe the worst. It's amazing how a few runs down the mountain clears the brain. If only there was a ski hill near Waskaganish....
Time for a bubble bath. Tomorrow: snowboarding!
My knee is holding up fabulously. There were no clicking sounds at all when skiing tonight.
Tomorrow is solstice. First day of Winter. And Ullr giveth: 15-25 CM of powder snow predicted for tomorrow.
A watched phone never rings.
I've discovered the 90s radio channel on Galaxie.
My ipod's playlist will be expanding exponentially over the next 3 weeks, no doubt.
Misheard Tea Party lyrics: "you surrender your underwear".
And now, off to Montreal for the day (snowshoes, iPod shopping, elfing for xmas).
Followed by food with Steph, at one of our favorite eating places.
Waskaganish needs a Thai resto.
For those not well acquainted with Val d'Or... not exactly a exciting, thrilling place. I'd love to write stories of prowling about town, panning for gold, but if there's any, it's buried under 3 feet of snow, and 1 foot of asphalt. And I didn't strike gold on the way down. I did, however, strike ice and snow, and occasionally realize I was driving on the wrong side of the road. I also saw the infamous Red Light and VD prostitutes. VD referring to the town, not the disease, to be sure.
I'm already sick of moving, after last night.. only to find out I have to rush on Sunday and Tuesday when free to get everything I need to send back up North packed and ready for the 23rd when the movers come. So much for practicing sax and bringing xmas gifts home. You can see how totally motivated I am to dig through and triage all my belongings, and pack them.
On a bright note: classes, school, DONE for me for 3 weeks. Will still be sorting out the math situation over the holidays. My first week back to work most of the kids are gone on their college orientation trip, making for an easy week, too.
I bought an iPod. You can all make snide comments. I caved in and finally went Apple. No, there will be no ipad, iphone, or ipod touch in my future, though.
Had a fairly good, fun last day in Waskaganish yesterday, for the most part. Last day before the holidays, I mean. Mixed feelings about returning in January.... going back til end of June for certain, but... mixed feelings about this. Mostly based on my uncertainty about teaching math, the whole first year teaching jitters (again! I thought I killed those when I taught at LaSalle College! but, alas, no....), uncertainty about someone, uncertainty about my ability to subsist 4 months without a break back home, uncertainty that my winter jacket is warm enough to prevent me from becoming a rather curly and frizzy haired snowperson.
Plane in... 8 hours. Home in... 10. With a Timmy's stop en route, bien sur.
I rediscovered a song from a year or two ago that I had on repeat in my car.
Feeling this song, a lot of it sums up how I feel about a lot of different aspects of my life right now...
Change- Daniel Merriweather
I've come to the conclusion that every time I drink apple juice, i feel queasy for a bit afterwards.
Considering that I *am* allergic to apples, in the raw form, this should be no surprise. very saddening, however.
On another note, I hate packing. It seems that my belongings have multiplied exponentially from the 1 box and 2 bags of luggage I came here with. But, considering I threw out a fair amount of clothing and have barely bought anything other than food in the past 4 months.... there's not much more there than there was.
I loathe carrying and moving boxes (and any other objects) more than packing.
Back to the boxes.
Departure for the xmas holidays in less than a week. 6 days to be precise, minus 2 hours. But who's counting?
I'd love to say that I have mixed feelings about going home, but as I'm in the process of packing, throwing out, and preparing boxes (moving across town in January), I have to admit, if I'm being honest, that I can't wait to get out of here.
It's an overwhelming feeling of just wanting to be home that grows as the departure time and date approaches; This week seems ridiculously long, stretching forever in front of me. In comparison to the past 4 months which have flown by for the most part. There were some stretches where I'll admit to compulsively checking how many days until Christmas; other periods where I had those "really? only 3 weeks left?" feelings.
I had originally planned to go home for good at Christmas. Lack of a job down south, and a good one up here changed those plans. I think I'm still getting used to the fact that, other than Goose Break in April, early January I'll be saying bye until late late late June. No Thanxgiving Break a month and change in to look forward to, this time. A little depressing.
Basically, my decision came down to being based on financial/job reasons. Nothing personal to anyone, here or there, but that's just how the cards played out.
I feel that my heart is in one place, but my reality is another. I'm sure eventually sometime during the inevitable deep freeze of January, they will merge together a little more cohesively than they are now.
Before: After:
Snow above the ankles. Snow above the knees.
My street Sunday, My street Tuesday night.
and 2 more from Tuesday:
My door.
What I could see while walking into town.
And now, for a video:
They closed the access road this morning. Flights are grounded.
There's actually no way into town, or no way out.
Snow.snow.snow.
Love it.
On another note, 12 days until I'm home for 2 and a half weeks. I'll admit I'm excited, and that it's too short. Love or hate life up here, I realized how much I miss home. Not in an overwhelming homesickness kind of way, more in a coming to the realization that regardless of how much I love to travel, after this year is over I will be attempting to find a job somewhere in the Townships or Montreal area. No more of this leaving for a year at a time. I guess you have to have distance to get perspective on such things, but the urge to flee has been extinguished, I think, or will be come June.
On a brighter note, I'm planning to go back to Europe this summer. Huzzah!
I stumbled across Project 365 when searching for something completely irrelevant, and was intrigued. Basically, the idea is to take one picture a day for a year (ergo the 365), based on some sort of theme. I'll be starting this weekend, mine is located here: http://365project.org/alleta2010/365
On another note, I finally tried beaver. Other than the rubbery parts, its actually rather delightful.
Survived two flea markets this week. It turns out that this is a flea market culture. I can't complain, as I ate all sorts of great foods (most of which I photograped and will upload when I find my memory card reader).
Haven't been updating much, as I started teaching sec 5 this week. Was given precisely :4 minutes warning, so you can imagine the amount of planning I had done. You can also imagine my level of cluelessness.
